In 2020, I developed a new system of awarding points: the Verkas. Maybe I should patent it…
The Verka system goes like this:
One VERKA means there’s very little that grabs my attention but there’s something. Maybe it’s a terrible song but he’s wearing a nice hat. Or it’s a catchy chorus and that’s it.
Two VERKAS means that I might listen to it more than once.
Three VERKAS means a good song. If it’s a power ballad, it’s sincere and the lyrics are not complete rubbish. If it’s pop, it’s tight, original and instantly memorable.
Four VERKAS? Now we’re talking. This is a quality performance. The singer can sing. The staging is creative. It might even show tell-tale signs of originality.
Five VERKAS means an excellent performance. The moment it begins I am hooked. It’s something special. It might be mesmerising or dramatic. Or it might be hilarious. It’s an instant gut reaction: I will love this song forever. And five VERKAS means I will share the Youtube link because it deserves to be seen.
A simple system. But as you know there are some dreadful Eurovision performances out there. Unfortunately on occasion I must award less than a VERKA but I try not to be cruel. There are bad years when I award NO VERKAS to multiple performers…hello, 2019. But then, there are years when there’s an abundance of VERKAS…like the fabulous 2007. Every so often I award a half VERKA:
Sometimes a quarter VERKA:
I do have an eighth of a VERKA up my sleeve but I’m not sure that I’ve had to use it yet:
Verka is starting to look like a slice of pizza so I’ll end here.
Opa!
ώπα!
Do you know? Were you there? Can you explain? As Moldova sang in 2011: ‘There is a my-ster-y…’. Although they were singing about something else. But this is Eurovision. You can sing about anything. As long as it’s love, not enough love, too much love, world peace or werewolves. Here are some of the great mysteries of Eurovision:
MOLDOVA
SEBALTER SWITZERLAND 2014
BELARUS 2009 PETR ELFIMOV
ANDORRA ANYTIME
